Interview with Buck Angel

 

                My early years were not very happy. I would say that as a very young child I was happy that I got to be "one of the boys" and that was fine with everyone. But as I started to get a bit older and started puberty I think that is when my life got to be difficult. People started to treat me like a girl and that was really strange and uncomfortable for me. I as I started to grow breasts and got my period I became more angry and started to hate who I was. I started acting out more. School was very hard for me. I did not have many friends and I kept to myself a lot. I really was into sports and I was really good so that was my outlet.

                  It was very hard because at first I had no idea it could be done. It was never an option that was given to me. I went through many years of therapy for my anger issues and the therapist said I was just a very "male identified female." She never gave me any information about the possibility of a sex change. Once I found out it was possible, the decision was not hard at all! I instantly knew that was what I needed to do. 

                 I cannot really tell you how happy I am today because it is so much more than that for me. I finally feel like a whole person, and I finally love myself. This is a huge thing for someone like me. I had always disliked my body and who I was, so to finally feel whole is just overwhelming. It is more than I expected to be honest. I really had no idea how this was going to turn out. When I started my sex change 16 years ago there were not many men like me doing this, so in a way I was like an experiment. But as you can see, now I am a success story.

 

                 I had been working behind the camera and on the Internet with my ex wife who was a pro dominatrix. We started a line of fetish videos and websites early on when no one else was really doing that and we were very sucsessful. I was also webmaster for a transsexual woman's (MTF) site. My ex-wife and I split up and I needed a new direction for my business. Then I noiced that no one in the whole adult world was doing any transsexual male (FTM) porn on the net or in the video world. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and be the first ever to do this. 

 

               Well my fan base is mostly gay men so it makes sense to do gay movies. No, I do not consider myself "bisexual" I consider myself "sexual." I like people--it is not just a gender or only genitals that I am attracted to. 

              Also some things have come to light about gender and sexuality in my work. For example, when I have sex with a man, it is obviously "gay sex"--it is man-on-man action. But, you also do technically have a cock and a pussy--so does that make it "straight"? No--of course not. Then, when I have sex with a woman, we are clearly a man and a woman having sex. But we both have pussies. So, does that make it gay? No--not really. And then, when I have sex with a MTF transsexual, again you have a cock and a pussy, but you also have a man and a woman who have the opposite genitals from usual. So is THAT straight. Hell no! It is QUEER AS CAN BE. So you see it isn't quite so clear how the labels usually work when it comes to Buck Angel!  Then to go a step further, what if I had sex with another FTM? Is that gay? But what if he had a surgically-created penis? Does that change anything? These are interesting questions....I'm throwing a wrench in the system and making people think, and I love that!

 

              Of course it causes controversy; I have started something new and different. People don't like things to be "out of the box." Partly it is for publicity--and it is a way to help people understand who and what I am. This is business and I am a businessman selling my goods. When you have a business it is all about marketing. Example: Stabucks! 

             That said, I really DO consider myself a man with a pussy. I am a man; I do not identify as transsexual. I WAS a transsexual, but that to me is someone who is IN TRANSITION and I am done with my transition. I am a MAN; I am legally male. I have had my birth certifictae and all my documents changed to male. So yes, I AM really a Man With a Pussy. I most certainly DO identify myself more that way than as an "FTM" or "Transman"!

 

             Of course not! That is what Buck is all about. I am 100% man whether anyone else wants to believe it or not. I really don't care; it is what I believe, and it is how I feel. I am not doing this for you (or any other particular person). I am doing this for ME and to show the world that I do not have to be what you want me to be just to make YOU feel ok. Because basically that is what it comes down to. How I make you feel. This is why all the people who do not like what I am doing say negative things--because they do not like themselves and I make them feel uncomfortable. 

            Whether you like it or not I am changing the world as no other person like me has ever done. I am making people see things that no one else it the world has before me. I think I deserve some credit for that. A real man is someone who feels it in his brain--not between his legs!

 

            God they are such drama queens! I knew a lot of the "transmen" were not going to like what I was doing, but that is not why I am doing it. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Because of me people have more understanding of people who are different--expecially trans people. EVERY OTHER TYPE of person is represented (in porn) as "sexual": gay, lesbian, straight, bi, fat, skinny, tattooed, little people, MTF, MILF, and on and on. And on. Until I came along there was NO representation of guys like me in the adult world. It was like we didn't exist as sexual beings. Well, I am showing that WE EXIST, that we ARE hot and sexy, that we like sex, and that at least some of us feel perfectly comfortable with ourselves. 

           The trans guys who wrote those comments, what are they doing for us? What do they do to make the world a better place? Because of my work I bring more awareness to the world. I get so much positive feedback it is overwhelming. You can see if you look at my fanmail on my website, and that is just a tiny fraction of the positive, supportive feedback that has been written to me. These guys are so afraid of themselves and what it really means to be a man; I really feel sorry for them. 

           Again, I do not intend to represent the whole community--I am representing myself. So if they don't like how I represent myself in porn, then why don't they step up to the plate to show how THEY want us to be seen? Or do they think FTMs or Transmen, or Men with Pussies shouldn't be shown having sex at all?  My "attitude" is open, confident, sharing, informative. If other guys don't feel good about that, I think it is quite sad...

 

           OMG! it is going to be great for them. I have seen just in the few years that I have been doing my work such a change in awareness and how the world reacts to us. As you know I fly all around the world and do tons of tv shows and interviews, all of which have been extremlely positive for me and for people like me. When I went through my change it was so underground that people had no idea what was going on. I could not even find a therapist that could deal with me. With the increased exposure comes better understanding and acceptance. For sure! It will definitely be easier for guys who come after me. And unlike me (who had nobody to look up to) they have a strong, visible role model of a comfortable and self-assured man who has successfully made it through (and past) transition.

           I think that actually ending up as a man is a part of transition that doesn't get talked about--maybe because the whole thing is relatively new. I'm not sure. Maybe because a lot of guys don't get lower surgery and that keeps them feeling stuck in between in a way they don't need to? But, I don't understand why a lot of the guys identify as FTM or as Transmen, rather than as MEN? Isn't the point (if you truly have gender dysphoria--which is the medical condition that necessitates changing your sex) to become a MAN (and not BECOME an FTM)? I am trying to show that whether you have a penis or not, you can transition and become a MAN.

 

           I had been wanting to go on that show for a while so I was very happy to finally get on there. You have to understand that I am NOT a spokesperson for the TS community. I am a porn celebrity. This is my business first and foremost. So when people want to talk about my transition it is just part of the whole porn thing for me. So going on Howard Stern was for publicity and business. I knew he was going to try to make me cry and freak me out--that is what he does. I am a very strong person. I know who I am and I am totally self-confident and comfortable, so that was not a possiblility. The show was great and I ended up being described by Howard as his most memorable guest! THAT is saying something!

 

           My mind! I am so strong-willed and grounded it sometimes blows me away, because I used to be such the opposite. I used to be so shy and I could never hold a conversation with anyone. Now I feel so free and so strong with my mind.

 

            It is great, but to be honest I really dislike talking about my personal life (that is why it's called "personal"). I like keeping it that way. I don't want the whole world knowing every detail of my private life--just my professional side.

 

             In one word: "AMAZING!" Please see above.

 

             Haaa!! That is funny. How did you know? Yes, I am very neat and clean. I like order in my life.

 

           To be honest I am working just about all the time. But when I'm not, I relax at my home in Mexico. I love to work out at my private gym and take walks on the beach with my 4 dogs.

 

           Probably just retired in my home in Mexico, enjoying travel, and smoking my cigars!                      

           " An inspiration to others." ( That is what my manager, Danny said!)

Really, I'm a nice guy; a "normal" person. I  just have more famous genitals than most people!

 

           All the time. Now more than ever, since going on television all over the world. I get recognized on the street, in airports, and restaurants. People ask to take pictures with me. So see those "transguys" who think I am doing a disservice have no idea how I am opening people's minds and changing the world!

 

           WOW!! So much. I will be in London for gay pride on a Roman chariot. I am going to NYC again to perform at the BOX for 2 weeks. I have a movie that I am promoting that just came out:  BUCKBACK MOUNTAIN. I also have another movie that I'm in and it is premiering at 5 film festivals; I'm also doing a documentry. Tons of tv shows. I am even negotiating a mainstream movie part!

 

          I love it. I live in Mexico and love the Latin people they are so amazing. I grew up in los Angeles and many of my good friends are Latino. One of my best friends (from the US) is Mexican. I like showing more of the world about Buck Angel.

 

          If you like my work--thanks for your support. If you are one of the members of the FTM community who feel I'm not showing the public how you want to be seen, then YOU have to step up and do it yourself!

 

Thanks for your interest. If you have any other questions or need clarification, just let me know.

Woof!

Buck

 

AVN 2007 Transsexual Performer of the Year